Perhaps it's not smart for me to work heavily on my project considering I have not one, but two All-State auditions to prepare for, not to mention that I'm still a student in high school (which has been really getting in the way). I really just can't help but work on it. I can't help but work on everything. And I love it.
But it's been taking a toll on me already. Every time I'm in class and my teacher turns their back, I'm out with my book on The Enneagram. I finish my quizzes early just to read. I rush through assignments, just to read. Perhaps I'm trying to rush through the book too fast, but my own enthusiasm is pushing me quickly, and I figure it's best to go with my internal flow.
My enthusiasm is my best friend, and my worst enemy.
It's probably bad that I've been dozing off during school, but to me, it's no different than when I'm working on a school musical and I'm working all hours of the day. I love it. It kills me. But enough of my obsessive habits.
One thing I've been doing during my project is trying to find people in my own life who fit the Enneagram types, and understanding them better, being a better friend. Learning about the way people work has made me so insightful of others, and I'm beginning to realize the way I treat people is much more hurtful to them then I thought,
I have a friend, who is definitely a Type 3. She's obsessed with grades, tries to get brownie points with teachers, and tries to be the best in a group. Personally, I tend to have trouble with these kinds of people because to me they seem shallow, obnoxious, and selfish. Often with this friend I'd make sarcastic comments, like "Oh no, you only got a 99?" Come on, we've all done it.
After reading the chapter on Type 3 though, my opinions started to change. There are people in the world who work at material gains because that's what they learned, and that's what their scope is. When you insult a person for this, it actually really hurts them, because they view their achievements as the only thing that gives them worth.
Perhaps that might've been obvious if I looked further, but that really gave me a punch in the face. First, it told me that people believe in much different values than I do. Secondly, it taught me to be accepting of such values, for the desire to success is no less important my desire to gain insight on the world. Also, I do the same thing, to a certain extent.
Today, me and my Type 3 friend were working on an English paper in the computer lab. I finished my paper at 2 and a half pages. She was already at 3 pages, still with much more left to write.
Her: "Ellen, how do you keep your papers so short?"
Me: "I try to find what's important and focus on that."
Her: "But everything seems so important."
As a Type 3, of course she's the kind of person who will fluff her assignments until they hit proper length with information that seems fitting to what the teacher wants. I expected that. What I didn't expect what when she asked me,
"Do you think you can read over my work? I'm trying to get better at focusing on the important subjects. I don't want to make an overly long paper."
Following my goal to be a better and more understanding friend, I said yes.
Her: "Are you sure? It's probably going to be around 5 pages."
Me: "I think I can handle it. I love revising papers." (True fact! Student grammar hurts my brain, I can't help but fix it.)
Her: "Thank you so much!"
Who knew that taking on an art project would make me a better person?
Oy vey, I'm thinking so much I'm nearly forgetting about the music itself. I have my Type 3 song almost whole, and I've been experiencing with some fun effects on my amp. My goal is to record it on Sunday, even if it's not finished. Because I'm trying to make so much music in so little time, I need to be efficient, and set myself hard deadlines.
The only issue I'm having is with lyrics. A lot of my lyrics are contrived and obvious, and to be honest, I'm thinking about throwing out my song altogether. On the other hand, there are some parts I like, so I don't want to give up yet. Focusing on a Type 3's ability to take on other personas in order to get ahead and losing identity is what I'm really focusing on. The first verse goes like this.
I play guitar
So I can be
Like a real musician
I wear my hair
Over my eyes
So I seem indifferent
Ok, maybe it's corny. But it's honest, and I kind of like it, especially in 5/4. I'm starting to really trip over myself though.
Alright I've been typing for about 25 minutes and I still have to practice for All-State so I think it's time for me to end this. But tune in tomorrow!
"My enthusiasm is my best friend, and my worst enemy."
ReplyDeletethis is EXACTLY why it's obvious you're a #7!
"Personally, I tend to have trouble with these kinds of people"
Certain enneagram numbers are more difficult to deal with, depending on your own number. For me, especially as a teacher, unhealthy 5's are really difficult.
"After reading the chapter on Type 3 though, my opinions started to change."
Exactly! Don't stand in judgement, stand in understanding.
"Who knew that taking on an art project would make me a better person?"
You discovered the true purpose of STAC and everything we do. Not that it's been hidden, but now it is clear, isn't it?
YOu could make the #3 song about your friend. It could be a song about her and about the enneagram.
I like the lyrics. I've been loving your blog posts - so damn articulate and interesting!