Most of this week, I haven't been doing my usual silly daily posts. I haven't wanted to write lists. I've wanted to write stories. Somewhat humorous stories, but mainly serious. I don't know why exactly. Perhaps the stress of APs put me in a more somber mood. Or maybe I'm starting to mature...Maybe not that.
I've always had more ambivalent feelings about serious art. I think this is because I set up a construct for myself where I can only tell a tragic experience if I've had a decent amount of personal experience dealing with it. Otherwise, I wouldn't know what it's like, and the story would simply come out shallow. On the other hand, I do not think my life is very tragic, so my material is limited. In addition, I think that simply writing about myself over and over again is sophomoric. Of course every piece of art is autobiographical, but when it becomes more explicit, where is the line between art and whining?
This is why I feel much more comfortable in humor. Humor isn't feeling emotion. It's mocking emotion. It's so much easier to mock emotion than to feel it, because feeling emotion is uncomfortable and unpleasant. Not to mention, it is easier to handle criticism for a humorous piece than for a serious one, because a criticism for a serious piece feels more personal. Also, I think I'm better quality-wise at humor.
In my ideal world, I would be able to combine both seamlessly and create a story that contained emotional depth without overdoing it. Something that says "This is how people feel, and it's kind of silly, but it's worth acknowledging nonetheless because it's tough to deal with."
I think this has something to do with my attitude about emotions in general. I believe that emotions should not be ignored, but at the same time, I think giving them too much value causes people to be controlled by their emotions, which leads them to making poor decisions. There is a line between underacknowledgment and overacknowledgment, but it is blurry.
Regardless of my apprehensions, I've decided to try and write serious stories anyway. I actually enjoy them quite a bit, because I find them a useful way to work through my own thoughts and issues. My art has given me insights on my own life. I'll give myself better advice in my art than I do in my head. Isn't that funny?
If my work seems mediocre and juvenile, I don't think that's much of a surprise considering that I'm only seventeen. Also, I only started creative writing on a regular basis a few months ago. At this point, I think I'm still allowed to suck.
Victory Lap
Now this is only the first George Saunders piece I have read, so I do not I have seen enough to make judgments about him as a whole. But I definitely had some strong opinions about the piece that I did read.
Saunder's style was completely unexpected to me when I first read it. Nearly every sentence was a fragment, proper grammatical rules for dialogue were completely abandoned, and he used {} symbols, which I can't even name. I don't think I actually understood what was happening until I was halfway through the story. The more I read, the more I enjoyed Saunder's style. It's an adapted taste, like Tom Waits.
When I reached the end, I had very mixed feelings about the story as a whole. My problem with it is that it did not seem realistic. I'm not saying that all stories need to be realistic. Science fiction is great. However, I felt like it was passing itself off as something legitimately realistic, even though the situation did not seem very plausible. This made the piece seem a bit contrived to me. I know that pedophiles and crazy people exist, but the whole scenario of a man going to a girl's house and having the girl be rescued by a teenager beating the man in the head with a geode, I don't know. Maybe the flaw is with the genre more than the writer. Maybe it's just not my type of art.
After reading Victory Lap and having these complaints, I decided to try to write my own piece in his style that seemed more realistic. They say "make the art that you want to see." That's what I did.
But being of serious nature, I don't particularly feel like sharing it.
My Future Art
The works that I've been gathering for my book have been the best humorous pieces. However, if some of my more serious pieces are legitimately good, I may want to include them too and give the book a theme of duality.
Before I decide that though, I need someone to tell me if my serious work is junk or not, because it's difficult for me to tell.
"where is the line between art and whining?"
ReplyDeleteThat's a good question. You'll spend your life teetering on that line.
Saunders - it's a story. You assume it is realistic, but he makes it very clear it is a story. Are you upset because your expectation isn't met?