Aziz Ansari: Buried Alive

Aziz Ansari: Buried Alive

(On Netflix)

This may sound like an odd statement, but I feel like stand-up comedy is the art form that is closest to real life in our current generation. More so than film, visual art, or the other kinds of media out there, stand up comedy analyzes and attacks the current social mores. Comedians of our day examine and navigate our world of social media, jaded sexual promiscuity, overexposed children, and other things. They give us a way of interpreting this new world and how to live in it based on their own life experience. And they do all of this with a sharp sense of humor. 

Some of my favorite comedians right now are Demetri Martin and Donald Glover. Today, Aziz Ansari joined that list. His special talks about child bearing, relationships, online dating, dick pics, and meeting Barack Obama. 

Throughout this piece, Ansari discusses how modern courting and marriage has been so drastically changed. For example, his comments on the dick pic phenomenon, while humorous, are also an underlying statement on the lack of politeness and chivalry in our society. His special is filled with all sorts of these clever interpretations.

One of the best parts of the routine is when he discusses the "true" meaning of a marriage proposal, and shows you how crazy it truly is.

I recommend this show for entertainment and for thought. For those who have already seen it, you may enjoy reading this interview that Ansari did with Rolling Stone magazine.

Authority to Discuss Culture

Right now, I am going to do something I haven't done in a while. I am going to write without a very specific topic.

This is the way I used to write in my early STAC days. I would start a blogpost with something like, "Imagination," "Reality," or whatever other abstract thought occupied my mind at the moment. I would go on long, intellectual rambles, that occasionally said something wise.

In my attempt to tighten up my blog for my senior year, I haven't done much of that at all. After reading Clive James's Cultural Amnesia though, I wonder if I'm missing out by making my blog so focused.

I haven't gotten very far into Cultural Amnesia, but from what I've read so far, it seems like James's statements could be accurate. For example, when he talks about the Russian poet Anna Akhmatova, he makes clear that her importance derives from how Soviet communism eliminated her potential to become a genuine Russian culture icon, and how Moscow could have been one of the centers of the intelligensia. Note how I said it seems like James could be accurate. There's no way to prove whether this is true or not.

I do not wish to put down Clive James in any manner. I have only gotten about 40 pages through the book and I do not have the information nor the authority to declaim him. What I'm saying is, culture criticism seems like a dubious concept to me because it is based in supposition and it cannot be proven.

It's unfortunate for me to feel this way, I realize. We live in a society where we need tangible proof of something for it to be true. Intelligence is measured in grades. Culture is measured in material. Such structure often oversimplifies reality, because reality does not fit into structure. This structured reality seems more valid in our eyes though, because it can be more easily conceived in the mind. This simplification can be harmful, as many of us can see by how emphasis on grades takes away from the genuine joys of learning. Structuralization is also dubious.

What's the true way to evaluate these complex concepts? There is no true way. It does not exist. In essence, all ways are valid. James's analyses include things that structuralists may lack, while structuralists will have writing that is more empirical and easier to digest than Clive James. From both of these sources, we can derive our own judgments as to what seems the most truthful in our own lives.

Perhaps it's time for me to stop being so structural and to let myself become relaxed in my formatting and style. Sometimes, it's good to sacrifice focus for a brief moment of clarity.

How to Talk Minnesotan

How to Talk Minnesotan

(On Amazon)

As many of you probably know, much of my maternal lineage resides in the state of Minnesota. My family and I go to visit these relatives around the holidays every year. Before we drive down to rural southern Minnesota where most of them live, we enjoy visiting the Mall of America near the twin cities. At one of the souvenir stores, my mother bought this book. 

The book is written by Howard Mohr, who used to be a writer for A Prairie Home Companion. For those of you who don't know it, A Prairie Home Companion is a radio show that takes place in the mythical place of Lake Wobegon, MN. It's pretty funny. 

I've been reading it vigilantly. First of all, I want to learn the art of speaking Minnesotan, because I feel like it could be useful for improv comedy or something like that. Secondly, I wanted to see if the stereotypes this book spoke of were actually true.

Though some aspects of the Minnesotan language were exaggerated, some were quite true to life, and I would like to talk about a few of these things here.

Minnesotans talk in a very reserved manner. When they speak, they lower their vocal intonation throughout the sentence. They try to avoid making any overly opinionated or emotional statements in the fear of offending someone. At the same time, they can be subtly passive-aggressive. Generally though, Minnesotans are enthusiastic and friendly.

Here are some common phrases and information about meals in Minnesota.

Common Phrases

You bet

This can be a general reply to pretty much anything. You can say it after a thank you, or you can say it to agree to a person's previous point.

That's different

This is the kind way of saying "I don't quite understand/approve of what you're doing but I see no reason to raise an objection with you."

Whatever

This is a way of expressing submissive disinterest when something doesn't go your way. Instead of getting angry, a simple "whatever" passes off the situation.

Not so bad

This means you're doing good. But you don't want to say you're doing good, because sooner or later, you'll probably be doing bad.

Meals

Breakfast

The same as our breakfast

Dinner

The mid-day meal. We usually call this lunch. Dinner is the largest meal of the day.

Supper

What we call dinner. It is somewhat smaller than Minnesotan dinner.

Lunch

Lunch is the snack eaten between meals. There is an after breakfast lunch, an after dinner lunch, and an after supper lunch.

Salad

A Minnesotan Salad is just jello. I'm not kidding. When I ate dinner with my grandma for Christmas, this was the appetizer.

Speed Reading

Before the holidays, Luke gave me the book Culture Amnesia by Clive James. It is a 850 page monster of a text.

As I started reading this text, I was displeased at the pace of my reading. I started early last night and at this point, I've only read a little over 50 pages. Considering all the reading I have left, and all the books I want to read, and all the times my dad has patronizingly teased me for my slow pace, I decided it was time for me to learn the techniques of speed reading.

The key to speed reading is to eliminate vocalization. Often when people read, they verbalize the words in their head before they can create a mental image. This process takes time, and after a while it can become exhausting.

The quicker way to read is to digest the information straight through your eyes and into your brain. It is not common to most of us because we do not learn it in school. Therefore, it requires practice.

Thankfully, the practice is simple and there are a number of techniques you can use.

Maybe one day I will be able to catch up to my dad and read 3 books a week. A girl can dream.

Why You Should Blog More

For a while, Luke has been asking me this very question. "Ellen, your writing has improved so much over the past 4 years you've been in STAC. You've done more writing in this class than any of your English classes. How can I encourage other students in the class to do the same?"

I will now attempt to convince you all the benefits of blogging to the best of my abilities.

1. It helps you answer questions and understand your thoughts
When I write my blog posts, I start with questions, not answers. For example, with this blog post I am writing right now, my current question is, "how can I convince people to blog more?" At the moment, I do not know the answer to this question. This is not due to my incompetence. I am using the process of writing as a mechanism to getting answers.

Writing is a way of organizing abstract thoughts into concrete concepts. It takes the various thoughts that fly through your head and puts them into words so that you can understand them better. The more you develop these thoughts, the clearer the answer becomes.

You know how Luke sometimes asks us what a certain piece of art is about, but you don't quite know the answer? The more you blog, the easier it is to tackle those kinds of questions.

2. It can inspire new ideas
The process of writing can inspire ideas you wouldn't have seen otherwise. Perhaps in a rush to get your thoughts out, you accidentally write a completely profound sentence. You realize, "wow, this finally summarizes what I am thinking." From there you can make better conclusions.

3. You can use it to remember what you've done
Last year, I once said, "My blog is my notebook." To me, blogging is not only for presenting interesting information. It's also for remembering details. How many times have you read a good book or seen a good movie, only to forget nearly everything about it a few weeks later? If you blog about it, you can cross reference yourself and think, "Oh yeah, that's what the Good Woman of Setzuan is about."

4. It improves your communication skills
I cannot begin to explain how important communication is in our daily lives. Proper communication skills will help you mitigate conflicts and get what you want in life.

Tell me if this scenario is familiar. You hear that your friend has said something that makes you upset. You start acting nasty towards them, only to find out later that their words were misconstrued. Gossip is poison, but miscommunication is cowardice. If you can clearly communicate your feelings in personal conflicts, without trying to harm the other person, I guarantee you that your quality of life will improve significantly.

Communication is vital if you want people to help you. If you can clearly word your concerns, people will know the best response. If people have to decipher what you are saying, they will be less likely to assist you.

I will give a common example. Many people say that they want to learn guitar. They go up to a guitar player and say, "I want to learn guitar!" The guitar player will say, "What do you want to learn?" At this point, the questioner often gets stuck. What do they want to learn?

Now, let's say a person went up to a guitar player and said, "I want to learn how to play Blackbird." That guitar player will help them. He will know exactly how.

5. Your writing will get better
This should be obvious. However, in the years I've been in STAC, many of the people who consider themselves writers have not kept up regular blogs. The only way to get better at writing is to write a lot. There is no secret. There is no shortcut. You do not become a good writer by simply identifying yourself as one.

Malcolm Gladwell has a theory called the 10,000 Hours Theory. This theory states that if you practice an activity for 10,000 hours, you will become an expert.

If you write weekly on your blog, you will become an expert. Good writing isn't just for writers. Many jobs involve at least minimal writing abilities. Set yourself ahead. It's not so hard.

6. You can figure out if you're on the right track
We have the benefit of a teacher that will read our rants and give us advice. Take a moment to think about that. How often are there teachers that genuinely care about what you think outside of schoolwork? How often are there teachers that will give you assignments based on your own requests? How often are there teachers that care about your personal improvement, not only as a student but as a person?

This is a RARE opportunity. Most teachers aren't actively involved with us. Luke is. Most teachers only talk to you in class. Luke pays attention to us in his free time. Some of us have supportive parents, relatives, or therapists. Some of us don't have such figures in our lives. Having an older figure to give us guidance is so important. Luke can be that person for you. I'm sure he'd agree with me on this.

7. Classmates will support you

This is a picture of my blog feed. I follow you all.  I may not read all your posts immediately, but I get to most of them eventually.

Don't think that your blog doesn't matter. Luke is reading and so am I. That's two people right there. We may not always comment, but we are paying attention. In fact, from now on, I will make an effort to comment more. I promise.

Every STACie should be following all of the STAC blogs. I follow mine on Feedly but the Google Feed itself is also easy to use. It's not too hard to set up, and it really means a lot to know that other people are paying attention.

My Questions

I want to ask you guys, what problems do you encounter when you blog? Do you get stuck? Are you afraid of people judging what you say? Do you simply forget to make the effort? Perhaps finding sufficient answers to these questions will help us all become better bloggers.

It's difficult to start. To be honest, the only reason I started blogging is because I thought I'd be penalized if I didn't, and I used to be seriously afraid of teachers getting angry with me. That motivation doesn't work with everyone though.

What would motivate you guys? For those who blog regularly, what does motivate you guys?

The Most Common Comma Mistakes

The Most Common Comma Mistakes

(taken from this New York Times article)

Today in English class, my teacher gave out this article on common comma mistakes. Some are surprising while others are to be expected.

Commas used with Identification

This is the issue of when people use commas excessively after title's and people's names. The way to avoid the mistake is to think in terms of essential vs. nonessential. If a sentence can be completed without the name or title, it should have a comma before it. If the name is essential to the sentence, no comma.

Essential

Wrong: I went to the theater with my friend, Jack.

Right: I went to the theater with my friend Jack.

Nonessential

Wrong: We saw Samuel Beckett's most renowned play Waiting for Godot.

Right: We saw Samuel Beckett's most renowned play, Waiting for Godot.

(Disclaimer: I don't know if that's his most renowned play. The point is, if it were his most renowned play, the name itself would be unnecessary to give).

If a title begins with "a," "an" or "some," it falls into the nonessential category.

Missing Commas

The trick this article gives is to pay attention to I.C.E. phrases.

Identification

Clarification

Explanation

If there is a comma before an I.C.E., it must go afterwards as well.

Wrong: Samuel Beckett, who wrote Waiting for Godot is a good writer.

Right: Samuel Beckett, who wrote Waiting for Godot, is a good writer.

Comma Splices

If two grammatical units of a sentence could stand alone as separate sentences, using a comma isn't good enough. The two phrases have to be separated. This can be done by using a period, a semi-colon, a conjunction, or a dash.

Wrong: He used to write plays, now he sells books.

Right: He used to write plays. Now he sells books.

Right: He used to write plays; now he sells books.

Right: He used to write plays, but now he sells books.

Right: He used to write plays - now he sells books.

Which one is right for which sentence? Pretty much which one sounds the best.

The Weirdest Junk in My Room

Fall Cleaning

Last weekend I started cleaning junk from my room. As I got rid of my items, I was astonished at the number of things I owned. Even more surprising was how little I cared about each item. I figured out that there were pretty much three reasons I kept the stuff that I had.

1. I'd always had it so I just got used to it.
2. I felt morally obligated to keep it.
3. I had an emotional attachment to the item that linked me to a previous time in my life.

For some of these items, I could find legitimate reasons for my emotional attachment. For other items, there was almost no explanation. I would like to share some of the latter, because they are amusing. 

Russian Doll?

Is it Russian? Ukrainian? I don't even know.

An Old Souvenir from Corfu

This used to hold two blocks; one for the month and one for the date. The blocks were lost a long time ago, but this piece has been sitting at the bottom of my drawer for six years.

A Plush Lamb

When I was at Eastern European folk dance camp, the children created a puppet show. We knitted some sheep. This has been sitting on my top shelf for longer than six years.

My Old Inhaler

I had walking pneumonia in the middle of 8th grade, so I had to use an inhaler. To remember what true sickness is like (?), I kept this inhaler. 

A Rock I Kicked Around with My Friends at Camp

One year, I had some great friends at camp. We had a rock we kicked around. I kept it.

A Small Sparkly Hat

I bought this hat in the city because it was cheap and it looked ridiculous. I wore it once for a Halloween costume. No one knew who I was dressed up as that year. Not even me.

MRSA

This is pretty self explanatory.

Now for the Grand Finale

My Friend's Toothbrush

Alright, this one I am kind of embarrassed to share, but let us commiserate together. One time a friend of mine spent the night at my house. He and his girlfriend (I guess?) made out my guest room the night before. After they both left, I realized he'd left his toothbrush. My original thought was to mail it in a box to his girlfriend with the message, "Now you can have his taste in your month whenever you want!" Was it bad humor? Maybe. Was it my attempt to mess with her because I was jealous? In hindsight, probably. Thankfully I never sent it, but toothbrush had remained in my closet for the past two years.

Now, the toothbrush and its memories are finally where they belong: in a landfill.