Well. STAC Night. That was pretty cool, huh?
I still remember one of the first STAC Nights I went to. There was a girl singing a song with a guy playing the piano. Luke announced that the girl wrote the song herself, and that blew my mind. See when I was younger, I thought only incredibly special people were physically able to make music, like old composers or gritty rock stars. But teenagers? No way.
And of course my sophomore year I write my first album, sell it, and autograph it. People are listening to my music. And I did it all by myself.
Ever since I got really interested in music, I've always asked myself, how do the musicians become successful? When people interview them, what do they have to show? And how do I do that? I think that was a major pushing force in making my album. I just wanted to do something incredible. I've always had that excess energy inside of me that needed to be put towards something worthwhile. That's why I play so many instruments.
Now what happens?
Seniors are leaving. I'm going to be an upperclassman. Things are going to change. I have no clue what the future will bring.
I should probably think more about my artistic issues. Now that I've gotten practice in making music, I want to start making music about something important and make a difference in this world. Problem is, I don't know how.
After seeing so many videos in social studies of 3rd world countries in conflict, people with their families killed, homes destroyed, I want to do something.
At the same time though, I think of all the confused people in America, who feel stuck in dead end jobs and unhappy lives. I want to give them hope and meaning.
The world really sucks.
I feel conflicted constantly. There's so much in my life, and so much missing.
I don't even know why I'm writing this at all. I thought I had something important to say, but it's just starting to become nonsense talk.
I think I'm just frustrated because now I don't have a clear path. Before I thought, make the album, everything will be better. But now it's done, and my life kind of generally feels the same. No better, no worse.
What is happiness anyway? Where is it? Why have so few people found it? Most importantly, what do I have to do to reach happiness?
For now, I'm going to spend my summer on musical hiatus. I'll be doing improv, and hopefully I'll get better because at this point I'm still pretty bad at it. I want to teach myself a few languages, like ASL, Spanish, and Portuguese. Languages are a great way to feel like you're part of the international community. Maybe I'll even try reading some French novels, although I'm not so great at French. I just want to be doing something of importance. Or maybe I just want to be important.
That would explain a lot.
You are important. You did something important. You are simply judging things from the wrong framework.
ReplyDeleteI got news for you. If you go to a poor country, they still have art. Poor people still decorate their houses. They still sing and make music. They tell stories and enact plays. They don't think, "Well, I'll wait til I have some money before I sing, before I listen to music, before I hang a picture on my wall."
Art isn't a luxury item. It appears to be a necessity. A staple of life, and in its way as important as food. Because we have a life inside of us that needs to be housed, clothed and fed, and art accomplishes that.
You can help the world with your music. If a person listens to your music and finds value, you've added to the world. If a song explains a bit of your life to you, and because of that you are happier, how can that not be of great value. And a world with happy, understood people will ultimately function better in the long run. Art is an investment in the world in the long run. It doesn't feed many in the short term, but in the long term, it grows society, it civilizes us, it brings us together.
If you also want to help in the short term, sell your music and donate some of the money to a charity.
Be who you are, do what you do, without apology. You're a good person, a great musician and artist, live that life that's been handed to you and you cannot go far wrong.
Luke
Some people think that reaching happiness is to simply accept that you're alive, and that it's good to be alive.
ReplyDeleteHa, I have the same issue as you. I've always wanted to make a piece of original art- an animation, but now that that's over, I don't really know where to go from there.
I suppose we just need to continue chugging on and working on future projects!
---Also, if you actually get to reading french books, I highly recommend the play Cyrano de Bergerac. The main character is a bit over the top, but it's a fun play to read. Also, you can get really creative insults from his dialogues (I read it in the english translation, but it must be cool to read it in French and understand it) XD