One interesting phenomena that I've noticed since I abandoned music is that I actually enjoy listening to music more now that I don't feel the need to make any of it. I've felt less embarrassed about what I listen to, less keen to keep up a standard of good taste, so I only listen to music I like. Ironically, I think this has broadened and improved my taste in music.
Isn't it ironic how you finally get what you want the moment you stop trying to get it?
I think it snapped in my mind when I read The Untethered Soul. Most of our disappointment comes from when we set standards for what we believe the world should be like, and the world fails our expectations. It looked extensively into the concept of loneliness. If you give yourself the standard that everyone should like you, then your brain is overworking itself to accomplish this impossible task. When you fail, you blame yourself, instead of understanding the fundamental truth. Why must everyone like you? Because you fear what people can do to you if they don't like you. Because you fear that people may secretly dislike you and they're not telling you.
I had that fear for a number of years, until eventually it stopped. I no longer care deeply about what others think of me, be it my personality or my appearance. When I stopped caring, something strange happened - I began to love myself. I love my looks, I love my personality. It may sound conceited, but I don't believe it is. It's fine for me to love myself as long and I don't view myself as superior. I think you guys are excellent as well.
When I began to like myself, I found that others liked me as well. I guess people are attracted to confident personalities. Perhaps they are searching for that confidence in themselves, or confident people are simply more fun to be around. It's probably a combination of the two.
Everyone is chasing after what they believe will make them happy, but in truth, everyone has exactly what they need right in front of them. They just need to see it.
So-called "hipsters" are obsessed with genuineness. The reason that people are bothered so much by hipsters is because they are so clearly hollow on the inside, and in order to compensate, they follow in fashion trends. They wear vintage clothing because it gives them a sense of heritage. They listen to obscure bands because it makes them feel unique. They go to concerts because they want to be in groups where events are happening. They obsess over past time periods such as the 60s because they believe those times were better than now. That's not necessarily true.
My mom is a musicologist, and she's looked deeply into the current trends of Hungarian folk music. When the Soviet Union turned Hungary into a communist state, the folk music tradition was abruptly halted. The culture wasn't taught to children, and once the country re-emerged, these children didn't know how to continue the tradition. They felt as if they didn't have the authority to tarnish the "pure" folk music that their ancestors once knew. Many of them believe that the only people who have this authority are the Gypsies. On the other hand, they don't view the Gypsies as real Hungarians.
What these people don't realize is that the music was never pure. Before the days of records, nothing was pure. Everything was fluid. There was no need to follow an ideal standard because no such standard existed.
Why are people so obsessed with the ideal of genuineness?
I feel like this is because people examine those who have become genuine through their life experiences, and they want to immediately to achieve the wisdom these people have acquired, without putting in the effort. People look at the Beatles and think "I want to be just like them." They try to act like the Beatles. But the Beatles didn't try to be The Beatles. The Beatles didn't exist until they existed, and before then, there was no standard. They went into uncharted territory and left their flags. Now, people try to follow the flags when the flags are nothing more than suggestions.
People live now just as they always did. The only difference is we have more technology and less murder.
We shouldn't raise the past to more than what it was, and we shouldn't diminish the present to less than what it is.
There is so much wisdom in this post. I don't have a comment; I just read you and enjoy, and learn a bit. I think we need to explore some of the ground you are covering in these posts. And I have a book for you!
ReplyDeleteThis is particularly insightful:
"So-called "hipsters" are obsessed with genuineness. The reason that people are bothered so much by hipsters is because they are so clearly hollow on the inside, and in order to compensate, they follow in fashion trends. They wear vintage clothing because it gives them a sense of heritage. They listen to obscure bands because it makes them feel unique. They go to concerts because they want to be in groups where events are happening. They obsess over past time periods such as the 60s because they believe those times were better than now. That's not necessarily true."
Luke