Failed Experiments

Right now I am currently in the process of revising my piece, taking in Alex's suggestions. Another important criticism he gave me that I forgot to mention in my last blog post was my often incorrect use of complex vocabulary words.

Reflecting upon this comment, I wondered why I felt this need to use outrageous vocabulary. Was I trying to prove some sort of intellectual superiority? Or was I simply trying to see if I could use fancy vocabulary words for the fun of it? I realized, the answer was likely both. I view my work as an experiment. I see words in my readings, or in the thesaurus, and I want to use them. The problem is, I often don't know how.

I had two problems with incorrect diction. The first was a problem were I simply used a word incorrectly. For example, in one of my sentences I said

I acquired a collection of anachronistic facts which I could barely comprehend; the capital, the currency, the anthem.

This sentence is slightly revised so the grammar isn't great anyway. But more importantly, the word anachronistic was used inaccurately. I intended for the word to mean random, but anachronistic actually means out of sequence. So the above sentence is essentially nonsense.

The other problem I had was I would often use strong vocabulary words to describe something I didn't actually feel very passionately about. For example,

It was what he told me next that pierced my heart in a way that was irrevocable, and changed my outlook in a way that was irreversible.

At first when I wrote this sentence, I thought "wow that's so cool!" But here's pretty much what I meant to say.

It was what he told me next that surprised me, and opened me up to a different way of thinking.

Another example. I wrote this.

He made the desperately potent statement that would echo in my mind for months.

This is what I meant to say.

His sad statement left a strong impression on me.

Not quite so intense. But also, not nearly as ridiculous.

Although at first I felt embarrassed by my blatant writing errors, but then I felt better knowing that I least tried to use mature writing. I did an experiment, and it failed. Now I know for the future, and I'm happy for that. I'm going to attempt rewriting my sentences in a way that effectively combines metaphor and blatant feelings. Hopefully, this experiment will be more successful than the last one.