Failed Experiments

Right now I am currently in the process of revising my piece, taking in Alex's suggestions. Another important criticism he gave me that I forgot to mention in my last blog post was my often incorrect use of complex vocabulary words.

Reflecting upon this comment, I wondered why I felt this need to use outrageous vocabulary. Was I trying to prove some sort of intellectual superiority? Or was I simply trying to see if I could use fancy vocabulary words for the fun of it? I realized, the answer was likely both. I view my work as an experiment. I see words in my readings, or in the thesaurus, and I want to use them. The problem is, I often don't know how.

I had two problems with incorrect diction. The first was a problem were I simply used a word incorrectly. For example, in one of my sentences I said

I acquired a collection of anachronistic facts which I could barely comprehend; the capital, the currency, the anthem.

This sentence is slightly revised so the grammar isn't great anyway. But more importantly, the word anachronistic was used inaccurately. I intended for the word to mean random, but anachronistic actually means out of sequence. So the above sentence is essentially nonsense.

The other problem I had was I would often use strong vocabulary words to describe something I didn't actually feel very passionately about. For example,

It was what he told me next that pierced my heart in a way that was irrevocable, and changed my outlook in a way that was irreversible.

At first when I wrote this sentence, I thought "wow that's so cool!" But here's pretty much what I meant to say.

It was what he told me next that surprised me, and opened me up to a different way of thinking.

Another example. I wrote this.

He made the desperately potent statement that would echo in my mind for months.

This is what I meant to say.

His sad statement left a strong impression on me.

Not quite so intense. But also, not nearly as ridiculous.

Although at first I felt embarrassed by my blatant writing errors, but then I felt better knowing that I least tried to use mature writing. I did an experiment, and it failed. Now I know for the future, and I'm happy for that. I'm going to attempt rewriting my sentences in a way that effectively combines metaphor and blatant feelings. Hopefully, this experiment will be more successful than the last one.

STAC Wall Faces

When brainstorming ideas for the wall faces, I imagined having a bunch of self-portraits where I cover my face with things like toilet paper, saran wrap, and paper bags. Then I asked myself, "If I put a plastic bag over my face, how will I breathe?" In response, I decided to take pictures with my mouth showing, thinking that it would look utterly gruesome and cool at the same time, and prevent me from dying. To make the mouth look more prominent, I colored the lips and tongue while keeping the rest of the image black and white. 

The biggest problem I had while taking the pictures was making sure that my head was centered in the right spot. I put the camera on a tripod and pointed it at the wall, but I couldn't figure out where to stand in order to be center shot. Obviously I couldn't look through the lens. In the end, I just decided to mark the center with a pencil. Hopefully it will erase. Right?

I also had a bit of a problem navigating the scene with my eyes covered. The walk between the spot where I covered my face to where I needed to take a picture was quite the adventure. I stuck my arms out and stepped around very slowly, hoping I wouldn't trip over my dad's boardgames or knock anything over. Perhaps there is a better way I could've approached this. Maybe I should've tried getting help, but it is what it is.

Aluminum foil. This one's my favorite!

Toilet paper

Saran wrap. I'm not sure if my mouth looks too fake on this. Also, I'm not sure if it fits the theme because you can see my face. I must decide what to do with this.

Plastic bag

Gift wrap. My mom helped me on this one.

I want to do 8 images on this. So far, I have 5. I need to figure out what else I can use to cover my face.

NYC Project Plans

Basically what Lisa said, the two of us are planning on trying to get some conversations with strangers. I always feel like some of the most magical moments in life happen with those people you speak to briefly who tell you their life stories. Although it's unlikely that we will be able to audio record things, we'll probably try to note down the interesting things around us. Along with that we'll have some general recordings of sounds that we can hopefully make into a song.

Also, for myself, I want to take some quick pictures of posters. Nothing like a big photography project. I just got inspired from the booklet with the Cold War Kid's album "Robbers and Cowards." Each song has corresponding pictures of shredded posters, some of which inspired the songs they are depicted next to.

With the elections in swing and my new interest in art as political activism, it would be to my detriment to ignore the opportunity of capturing the presidential campaign imagewise. Next month, everything will be back to normal again.

Dance Mix ABC: Big Week Reflections

I know that we're going to do a reflection on the project in two weeks, but I want to reflect a little here, while my thoughts and feelings are still fresh in my mind.

I'm a bit disappointed in myself. Not because I thought the project came out badly. In my opinion, it sounded great. However, I feel like I didn't put enough effort into it. I chose a project that was too easy. Most of the tools I understood, and I wasn't doing anything particularly out of my comfort zone, like so many of the bold and brave people did today.

You all did a really good job. I mean that. My letdown is purely a product of my own feelings, and not because I felt personally attacked.

While I was reflecting on my disappointment, I realized something. Last year, I made a whole album in 40 days. Of course I feel like I'm falling short. Now that I've achieved something so great, I have to not only rank myself against the world of music, but I have to rank myself against myself. I've created an entirely new standard, and I failed to realize that while setting my goals, and I failed to realize that until now.

One of the biggest motivators in my life is humiliation. When my teacher shames me for not practicing, or my friends insult me for bad behavior, I always make it my goal to do better next time in order to redeem myself. Maybe that's just my ego talking. I like to take advantage of it, so I can keep improving.

Right now, it's time for me to find what to do next. I have a few options. One thing I could try is to make a better album, inspired by something completely different, using tools and techniques I've never done before. Another thing I could do is pursue this interest in audio engineering, or synthesizers.

Or I could take a deeper look into some other genres of music in the world spectrum. On my obnoxiously large hard drive, I've put a plethora of world music. In addition to that I've been really cultivating an interest in world affairs (another obsession of mine).

I suppose this is one of the main difficulties of an artist. How do you reinvent yourself?