Being Interested vs. Being Interesting

"It is better to be interested than it is to be interesting."

I came upon this quote while reading a Feng Shui/Self-help blog called the Tao of Dana, although I believe that I have paraphrased it for proverbial ease.

When I first encountered this statement, and the writing that went along with it, I couldn't help but be entranced by it. The statement so well summarized an idea that I had previously never put my finger on. 

It may require some explanation though. "Being interested" is the act of pursuing information and enjoying what the world has to offer in terms of knowledge and experience. "Being interesting" is the act of trying to cultivate an outrageous personality by doing things that call for attention, often without any legitimate purpose. 

Though it may seem that the plague of wanting to "be interesting" only affects those who are self-involved, it is a malady that lives within all of us, and shows itself in even the most rational of people. As humans, we seek to be admired by others, and for some reason or another, there is an obsession in our culture for quirky and emotionally broken individuals. This is what I believe. I call this the "Alaska Effect." In the book Looking for Alaska, the title character is completely entrancing for interesting reasons. She is not beautiful in the stereotypical sense of the word. She is short, but quite curvy, and very boisterous in her general attitude. She reads frequently, but she owns a collection of books which she does not plan to even look at until she is "old and boring." She involves herself with many toxic substances and when questioned about her habits, replies "I smoke to die." She has a faithful boyfriend but is still flirtatious with all the men around her. Her behavior is erratic, and this is seen as extremely attractive. 

The equation of erratic and knowledgable may be a false one. Though Alaska was admired, she was never happy. Her personal traumas overwhelmed her so deeply that she became obsessed with being powerful and in control. When she did the actions she did, I'm sure there was at least part of her that acknowledged their empty purpose. She did things to make herself appear interesting to receive attention that never truly gave her satisfaction. That is not a happy and fulfilling life. Truth be told, Alaska actually did have a significant brain in her head, but that is because her creator, John Green, is a smart man himself. Unfortunately, most people are not John Green characters.

I have found many times in my life that those who are hailed as "interesting" and "unique" often lack depth within. They play a façade of being different, but when you reach into their core personality, all you find is a disappointing emptiness. These people survive in a loop of trying to be impressive while having little substance to work with. This causes them to say the same clever ditties over and over, or simply saying nothing at all. This becomes more evident the longer you know a person. 

Many people are an inverted Pandora's Box: when you open the box, it is empty, and instead of dispelling its own contents, it sucks you inside. 

"Being interested" is a much different phenomenon. Those who are interested seek to learn new information. They are content with themselves and they do not need the affection of others to bolster their self-esteem. 

Here is the true irony though. Those who are more interested are actually more interesting than those who try to make themselves seem more interesting. That's because those who are interested know more, those who know more have more to discuss, and those who have more to discuss are inherently more interesting. People who are interested are contributors to the world. They offer new strains of conversation outside the mundanity of personal relations. They are the inventors who progress our society with their ideas and their actions. Once more, they are not held back by the construct of having to seem "interesting" based on emotional insecurity. They know they are interesting. They don't have to be outrageous to prove it.