One point Campbell made during the video that stuck with me is when he said "Life is not about finding meaning. Life is about the experience." People always tell you to "follow your dreams." While such a phrase is inspirational to some people who already have an idea of what they want, it only frustrates me. Personally, I don't really have a "dream." I'm happy with where I am right now and I have faith that the future will hold good things in store for me. This has caused me a decent amount of conflict, especially around the issue of college. When I tell people I don't know what I'm majoring in, they always insist upon offering their ideas. You should be a musician, you should be a moviemaker, you should be a diplomat, blah blah blah. According to my therapist, when I tell people I am undecided, that makes them feel the need to come and "rescue" me, and it's an instinct I need to pass over.
Why do people assume that those who are undirected are misguided? From what I've seen, those with the strongest ideas of direction often end up the most disappointed when the world doesn't shape up according to their plan. Campbell validated the point that I've been feeling for a while.
I have a personal myth that I live by that can be summarized in one sentence: Do the absolute best you can do right now, and the opportunities will follow. To me, this means two things. First of all, it means that you cannot try to shape the world into what you want it to be, because you don't have control over the world, and having high expectations of the world will only lead to disappointment. Secondly, opportunities present themselves unexpectedly in ways you cannot plan for, and you have to trust that these opportunities will arise without you playing a role.
What makes this policy so hard to live by is that it involves trusting in something that doesn't quite exist. I share Campbell's view that all religions are a metaphor for something that cannot be possibly spoken about. Therefore, I feel as if it is futile to look too deeply into religion, and it is better to just experience life instead. That being said, my personal myth is kind of a religion, and my trust in the future is much like trusting in God or some other kind of deity.
I do not plan for opportunities to fit into my life perfectly. Instead, I believe that when opportunities arise, I will make them into my own, and I will adapt the world that already exists so that it is pleasing to myself. For example, as I mentioned this is my Quarter 1 reflection, I don't feel a strong pull towards creating a project of my own. I'm happy with most any project I receive, because I make it into my own. I wasn't planning to make a horror movie in STAC this year but I had fun doing it and I think it yielded a decent response.
Despite my personal myth, I do sometimes fall into fear for the future. Probably my two most major fears are never finding a vocation I love and never finding a person I love. Sometimes I feel like if I don't pursue the end goal more aggressively then I will never achieve true happiness. It is reasonable to assume I will succeed in both endeavors at some point, but my lack of progress thus far makes me scared that I won't. So in times when I get scared, I usually just try to distract myself until the feelings go away. Sometimes I try to actively suppress my feelings, though that method isn't very effective. Thus is the fault in my personal myth, or my fault in my lack of adhering to it.
Still, I would say all and all that trusting in the future has been positive for me, and unless I see a better idea for a personal myth, I will keep it as my personal motto.
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