Feelings

People often have the idea that negative emotions are wholly bad without any redeeming value, and therefore they should be avoided at all costs. They believe that even possessing negative thoughts about others is a sin, and so these thoughts must be blocked out. To them, emotions are a mercurial phenomenon that should be conquered, and once these emotions are conquered, true happiness awaits.

Emotions aren't always caused by certain situations or certain people. Sometimes, they are unpredictable occurances that are caused by simple things such as lack of sleep or an adrenaline rush.

On the other hand, recurring negative emotions are often a sign of an underlying problem that needs to be dealt with.

Here's what I believe. It is not wrong to have human feelings. They are not something to be suppressed or overcome. They are simply a natural aspect of living. Yes, negative emotions can lead people to do rash things, making mistakes they will later regret. However, the emotions themselves are not intrinsically evil.

No deep emotional bond lacks an element of tumultuousness. Ups and downs happen, not because we want them to, and not because we didn't stop them, but because it's impossible to prevent them. Some people are more out of control than others, but no one is perfect. Mistakes happen, people are hurt. When it gets severe, we wonder why we even have these kinds of relationships.

To some, the solution is to simply avoid being close to anyone. No people, no care, no problem. But that's not satisfisfying on the long haul. In essence, you are artificially isolating yourself. You are forcing yourself to take the burden of the entire world on your shoulders because you're afraid a true friend could accidentally step on your foot while helping you carry it. It's a sad and lonely quest.

The most passionate relationships swing like a pendulum about to break its hinges. They are dangerous, but they can't serve as the only example. As with everything in life, balance and moderation is the key. Both extremes have consequences.

Sharing your feelings can be rewarding, even if there's no solution or end goal. Often, you gain the relief of knowing that other people struggle with the same difficulties, and that's helpful in and of itself. It means you aren't alone in the way you feel. You aren't a freak. You're just human, like everyone else.

In my opinion, the worst thing you can ever do to a person is make them believe that their feelings are wholly wrong. How can one live with themselves when they've been told that their uncontrollable tendencies are a sign of weakness or mental delusion? How is one expected to make choices and decisions for themselves when they can't even trust their own instincts?

Yes, feelings can be misplaced or misinterpreted. Yes, many feelings don't have much significance and should be gently dismissed. Yes, talking about your feelings at times can exacerbate them and make them worse than they would be otherwise. Yes, occasionally you need to bite your tongue and sit though unpleasant circumstances.

But you are never wrong to have feelings. Read my words. Never.